February 2012
128 posts
seabitch:
All the feminism on the internet spoils me because as soon as i go outside i have to be around people who find kitchen jokes funny.
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ALL ABOARD THE WHISKEY BOAT
Whiskey and books on murder. The best.
I should be reading many things for tomorrow/ this week.
But I’m not.
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My whole crew is on some shit
scuffin up yo’ Nikes spittin on yo’ whip kicking out your DJ we rock and then we dip WE DON’T WATCH THE REPLAY
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
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Who has 2 thumbs and just put in 5 loads of...
this kid.
Maryland legalized marriage.
Let the drinking in celebration begin!
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Dear Rick Santorum,
theycallmetrimtab:
Please just stop. You’re making us look like dicks. With love, Pennsylvania
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I need a nap, a shower, and some deeply penetrative sex.
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Fuck Fuck Fuck
my snot is just green and blood.
i slept through my class again
i keep forgetting to do things
i keep just not doing things
i keep not leaving my bed
fuck everything
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How To Have Sex With An Aspirin Between Your Knees →
keepyourboehneroutofmyuterus:
Just in case you haven’t yet had time to work this out for yourself.
I have done all of these at one point or another, and I, LK, endorse this. Sex for president.
These are also all for penetrative sex, but I trust in the creativity of sexual people to come up with a million more to encompass all types of sex, and I expect their to be blog posts of them, stat.
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I have hummus farts and I feel hungover. This hoodie is crusty and almonds and soup are not dinner.
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Drink until you can’t finish your sentences
Fuck until your brain shuts down
Passout when you’re worn out
Guilty every sunday.
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I've just seen a map of the United States.
autumninganymede:
holdontoyourassbutts:
lestrawde:
subconsciousonparade:
voldemortoutbitches:
HOW
WHY ARE YOUR COUNTIES/STATES SO NEATLY DIVIDED!?
IN ENGLAND IT IS WIGGLY LINE WORLD:
AND THEN YOU LOOK AT AMERICA AND IT’S LIKE
BAM
BOXES
WHY
HOW
WHEN!?!?!?!??
I appreciate this graphic.
#there are reasons they are neatly divided #but I just love how the states of america are...
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The beginnings of the American Revolution,...
BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
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Oh, it's supposed to rain all day? This is is just...
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